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We tend to believe that normality equals health. Yet what is the norm in the Western world?
Mental illness and chronic disease are on an unstoppable rise. How did we get here?
And what lies ahead for us?
‘It all starts with waking up… to what our bodies are expressing and our minds are suppressing.’
In this life-affirming book, Gabor Maté connects the dots between our personal suffering and the relentless pressures of modern life – showing that ill health is a natural reflection of our disconnection from our true selves. Drawing on four decades of clinical experience, and stories of people transforming their bodies and minds, Dr Maté offers a hopeful pathway to reconnection and healing.
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Karla Rodríguez –
Es un libro con tamaño un tanto grande, lo compré por recomendación y no me ha defraudado.
Rishabh Dev –
This book really helped me to navigate how get back when you realised you sufferd from trauma, doctor Gabor reasarch and work on human nature , mental trauma and what it’s is , how to know, how to process is really an eye opening for all of us , even it helps to understand people their behaviours and have better empathy for them specially for ourselves when we find sometimes what is wrong with us.
I like to thank doctor Gabor, not everyone has access to this knowledge without knowing it’s very difficult for people to struggle to find path to heal even not knowing what is worng with us ,it’s helps to understand self and society as wells it’s very helpful for someone who is a parent.
To Die well is to live well.
Thank you so much Doctor Gabor, words are not enough for you.
Terry Howlett –
Great book. Well worth reading.
Has defanatly helped me understand quite a few things.
Recommend this book.
H. H. JP –
Not yet finished it but a good read with interesting content both informative and thought provoking. Recommend for a good read
Brian Kingston –
Gabor astutely diagnoses our condition in the 21st century, as alienating, dislocating, disorientating and on the whole, sickness-inducing. For anyone dealing with illness, whether it be mental, emotional or physical, can find solace in the realisation that our ills may not be entirely our own fault. That being said, he expertly proves that, although not our fault, our move to wholeness is our responsibility and more in our control than we might have previously believed. Far from being a divestment from western medicine, he integrates his philosophy of healing into our current modern paradigm, giving us hope that we can seek and experience wholeness, no matter our plight. This is made all the more reassuring with references to peer-reviewed studies, anecdotal evidence and inspiring stories of people curing themselves from addiction and illness, through forgiveness, self-understanding and acceptance. There’s hope for even the most sensitive of us, even those of us at the cold face of intense trauma, abuse and degradation. This isn’t an overly-positive, new-age gleaming over of reality but a grounded, realistic path to health from a medically trained doctor who has done amazing work to heal himself and humanity.
Mr M J Kittle –
Very inspiring!
Hayley Andrews –
I shared this wonderful book to a post natal support group I am part of.
I’m currently reading a book called “the Myth of Normal written by Dr Gabor Maté and Daniel Maté.
I can’t recommend it enough. Its heavy. Its trigging. If you’re in a a shakey place I recommend saving it for another time. It’s written at a very high level so not binge read material. More a chapter at a time. Reflect, digest and continue.
That being said. Its strangely healing. Its reassuring to know that the feelings and struggles many of us feel are real. They are a real and legitimate emotional reaction to raising children, becoming mothers and families in a society that does not provide the nourishing environment they need to thrive in. Personally it has given me validation for some of my feelings and the things I struggle with.
So many of us self blame, are hyper critical of ourselves, that we are catastrophic failures as parents (that’s MY personal narrative), lonely and isolated. No doctor or mental health professional has ever mentioned our society being a trigger for some of my own challenges. How most of my environments have not been complimentary for my development as a human being.
Societies evolution of very recent history has stripped away the foundations of what it truly feels to be and exist as a human being. How we thrust mothers into this life changing journey ill prepared and ill equipped to manage alone. Because we were never meant to be alone. Your feeling of struggle with this insane load we are expected to carry is a normal human reaction to something that is not normal. This book has helped me confirm my own feelings and set hard boundaries around environments that conflict nourishment, safety and empathy.
Places like ***** help bridge the gap. Help to allow that vital time and space to heal. There is nothing I can ever do or say that is enough to show my gratitude. But if I ever come across things that may help others, my personal promise is to share them with you all. So you know others are thinking of you. They care and want to help you where they can.
Anyone becoming, is or wants to be a parent should read this book.
Its pages contain validation of feeling and healing. It is a masterpiece of both author’s work. Thank you for writing this book.
H.A.C
Boudicca –
Anyone who’d read any Gabor Mate knows his astute and seemingly limitless knowledge on health and wellness.
This doesn’t disappoint.
gabrielle –
Muito rico,muitas histórias e referências. Muito boa leitura, cheio de insights, com uma visão incrivelmente humana e empática do mundo.
The Honest reviewer –
An amazing author and a fantastic read. It supports his YouTube talks brilliantly and explains so much
Irene –
Highly recommended for gaining a new perspective on our society and understanding what we are living in. Perfectly comprehensible investigation on different problems. It contains extremely useful advice.
Noisy Dog –
The first half of the book gallops along packaging up a range of human experience and studies to build the author’s argument that our environment and personal trauma have a major influence on our physical outcomes. Very interesting. But then we get into societal problems and toxic modern life – no shade, limited optimism, and it all gets pretty depressing. So much so I began to feel a little illl.
Tucker Mackenzie –
As Dr. Gabor Maté so eloquently explains in The Myth of Normal, trauma strikes just about everyone in life, in ways seen and unseen. And, as he states early in the work, we know we’ve personally experienced it when we find ourselves forever changed by it. Sometimes, all it takes to make a book stand out is just one aspect that suddenly opens up a world of understanding. For me, this one simple definition of trauma — its telltale sign — was nothing short of revelatory. I found it so meaningful that, had it been the only insight I gleaned from this exhaustive work, I would have been completely satisfied with my purchase. But, as I read on, this one insight became a wealth of insights. In both breadth and depth, this book is truly exceptional.
For those who’ve experienced significant trauma, beware. Like Bessel van der Kolk’s seminal bestseller, The Body Keeps the Score, The Myth of Normal is not a comforting read, particularly in its early chapters when Maté explains how traumatic events can lead to disease, personality disorders, and addictions in its victims years, even decades, later. It’s sobering to learn just how much power primary caregivers unwittingly have over their children’s mental, emotional and physical health well into adulthood. That’s why this book should be a must-read for anyone raising or planning to raise a child.
Maté makes it clear, however, that parents are not the sole influence of their children’s health and well-being. In fact, much of the book deals with what he considers toxicities inherent in today’s society that present challenges for even the best of parents. These toxicities are staggering in scope and pertain to everything from pop culture to race, gender, class, politics and even our late-stage capitalism. Maté leaves virtually no stone unturned in showing us just how much in our world today can traumatize us without our even realizing it. It’s a lot to digest, but his writing remains consistently compelling and thought-provoking. If you choose this one for a book group, be prepared for an all-night discussion about cultural toxicities alone.
Of course, no book on trauma would be complete without suggestions for healing. In the book’s final chapters, Maté offers what he calls “pathways to wholeness,” clarifying at the outset that his definition of healing is not an “end state” but a “movement towards” wellness. This distinction spares us the false hope of a magic cure because, again, as Maté makes clear, trauma’s telltale sign is its imprint on us forever. The sheer tenacity of its effects is no doubt why Maté’s pathways include the holistic approaches of curiosity, understanding, self-compassion, and acceptance, among others.
Maté also touches on the use of psychedelics in treating trauma, adding a fascinating account of his personal “communion with God” in a Peruvian rain forest which, to his surprise, suffused him with profound insights that he brought to this work. He makes it clear, though, that his focus is not on finding or endorsing a magic medicinal cure, but rather on society and our need to recognize how it’s hurting us. It all starts, he says, with “shedding the toxic myths” of what we’ve come to accept as normal. It all comes down to “waking up.”
Well, this book not only woke me up but kept me reading well into the night. I’ll read it again. It’s really that deserving.